You are at a networking thing. You know it is a networking thing because you are holding a lukewarm drink, wearing a name tag slightly askew, and having the same conversation for the fourth time: what do you do, how long have you been there, big year ahead?
Everyone in this room is bored. Which is fantastic news, because the bar for being memorable is on the floor.
Why do networking chats all sound the same?
Because “what do you do?” is the safest question in the building, and safety is contagious. Everyone asks it, everyone answers on autopilot, and by 8pm the whole room has exchanged job titles without a single person actually meeting another one.
Titles are what people are paid for. Excitement is who they are. Ask about the second thing and watch the name tag become a person.
Nobody remembers the person who asked what they do. Everyone remembers the person who asked what they are excited about.
The best networkers I know are not smooth. They are curious. They walk out with two real conversations while everyone else walks out with forty business cards and nothing to say to any of them.Ness, founder of Good Chat
What do you ask instead?
- Chase the energy. “What are you working on that you actually can’t wait to get back to?” People light up. Lit-up people remember you.
- Ask for the story. “How did you end up in that world?” Careers are terrible summaries and great stories. Always order the story.
- Close with a real thread. “You mentioned X, I’d genuinely love to hear how that lands. Can I follow you up?” A follow-up about something true beats “great to meet you” every time.
What are you working on that you can’t wait to get back to?
What does good networking actually feel like?
Like a conversation you would have had anyway, with someone you happen to have just met. The transactional stuff, intros, opportunities, the coffee that turns into a job, grows out of that. It almost never grows out of a name tag and a pitch.
Used the Teams deck for our end of year team debrief instead of the usual form. Way better outcomes. Will do the same thing next year.Craig, in a five-star review of the Teams deck
Next event, set yourself one goal: two real conversations. Not forty cards. Two humans who would answer your email with a smile. That is networking. The rest is standing.
